Scared Stiff

Movies that will make you stiff…but leave you too scared to do anything about it… well maybe not.

So you watRe-Penetratorched ‘The Stink of Flesh’ and ‘Mutant Zombies from the Hood’ and thought I want a bit more of that sweet decaying action. Well I’m not surprised (or maybe I am, but I’m not here to judge) so just where do you go for this illicit action? With the rise of porn parodies it is no surprise that eventually the zombie genre would be ripe for the plucking, but where do you start? Before you think should I start you’ve already engaged google.

Erotic Nights of the Living Dead

Kicking it off with an oldie but not a goodie, Joe D’Amato’s Erotic Nights of the Living Dead attempted to blend the popular sex movies of the time with the newly emerging Italian zombie cycle.

The plot follows human slimeball and professional property developer John Wilson seek to acquire a small island in order to build a fancy tourist resort on it. However a handful of locals and hooded ghouls aren’t so keen on the idea, that doesnt detract John however who is determined to fuck every female he can as bores us through this film.

This is less a zombie flick than a soft-core with the occasional incident to justify the name. Interestingly D’Amato had to go back to the editing room to splice in additionally shot hard-core scenes at the behest of the producers. Recommended only for a giggle, but they do say humour is the best aphrodisiac.We analyse and review the film here.

Erotic Nights of the Living Dead

Re-Penetrator (segment in LovecraCked: The Movie)

Following that sexual deviant Dr Hubert Breast, as he injects his cadaverous creation with some illuminous reagent, designed to make her crave sex and not just brains. There is very little acting talent, even less plot but plenty of gore especially in the last couple of minutes. A definite oddity.

Porn of the Dead

Written and Directed by Rob Rotten, this is a loose homage to George Romero set to an extreme metal soundtrack. With no discernable plot or story, it really is as simple as the living and dead getting it on in the zombie apocalypse. A veritable cinema masterpiece in the adult world, Porn of the Dead went on to win Best Special Effects, Best Videography, and Most Outrageous Sex Scene at the 2007 Adult Video News awards. Again perhaps one to see for the curious but no more.

You can watch the movie online here.

Evil Head

Well you can all guess what this is based on can’t you. Loosely, set with the characters from the first film and starring the very same Hubert Breast (sadly I don’t know his real/stage name), this differs in that it does have a plot as well as tits and gore. Met with some favourable critical reviews, this promises to be more entertaining than truly arousing and should be your first point of call if you really must hunt down some zombie sex action.

Zombie Vs Stripper fad

Sure it’s not porn but it is related, in 2008 it could be argued that the zombie vs stripper sub-genre was created with the release of porn-star filled and Sony backed Zombie Strippers and the more traditional low budget, no star but still superior Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!.

Not so hot on their heels was the gloriously titled The Big Tits Dragon, renamed for the UK as Big Tits Zombie, a Japanese horror comedy which delivers the comedy but skimps on anything more than basic T&A. Oddly enough for a Japanese film it isint that weird, and sadly sits near the bottom of the Japanese zombie film pile for me.

Finally, late to the party is the inventively titled Zombies Vs Strippers, following in the same vein as Zombies!Zombies!Zombies! this is a low budget gore fest for the dedicated zombie fan who can see past the traippings of a low budget and straight into the bosoms of a buxom young stripper.

So there you have it, something a little stronger than the usual movies deliver but nothing, and I repeat nothing is as disturbing as the character played by an obviously over 30 and extremely creepy Peter Bark in Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror still being breastfed by his mother.

We have now added some more films, read about them in Scared Stiff 2: The Morning After


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