Zombie Driftwood

Zombie Driftwood

Director: Bob Carruthers

Year: 2010

A low budget straight-to-dvd film with a strong metal element similar to Automaton Transfusion but severely lacks the entertainment factor of that film let alone any semblance of quality.

The film follows a couple taking a trip to visit friends in the Cayman Islands, although one of them has an ulterior motive – to also watch his favourite band ‘October File’, appearing as themselves, coupled with a ship liner disappearing in the Bermuda triangle and appearing abandoned a few days later off the coast.

In an attempt to deviate slightly from the generic (and in my opinion best) zombie path, these creatures do not groan and wail without purpose but actively communicate, with the director choosing to subtitle their strategic planning or rather choosing instead to concentrate on inane dull humour, highlighting the poor script even by low budget zombie movie standards.

The zombies drink beer, have barbeques, sit around and hang out as well as use drills but their actions make as much sense as a Fulci film with numerous plot conveniences but without the atmosphere. However, the filmmakers do owe some debt to Romero, as the zombies exhibit their past vacation behaviour offering money for anything as the film attempts to mimic Romero’s Dawn of the Dead with one characters observation that the zombies are displaying their past behaviour, that behaviour of tourists on holiday who want to relax and spend money.

However, all this is irrelevant if the movie produces the tits and gore…..which it doesn’t. It’s difficult to know if the sex element is meant to be comical all of the time or just part, but whatever the intentions it had the same effect of being just awful and comes across almost as a piss-take.

Although, when the undead do attack just before the half hour mark, after some of the worst simulated sex I have ever seen (see previous comment), it does pick up and prove mildly entertaining as October File briefly hold their own caving in rubber heads with their instruments.

During what is essentially a music video for October File, the zombie Fx does actually look very good  with boils, blood and great complexion choice it is just a shame that the scenes are mind numbingly bland and misjudged. Despite lacking in gore there are a few moments with decapitation, rubber heads being squished and a man’s penis being ripped off (although he was already a zombie).

The film aims to be more comedy and little horror but sadly falls short, it is well meaning with a few entertaining Fx but ultimately disappoints and the film would be much better with these filler moments cut out, including the end, as they do not provide any value or entertainment, but this would probably result in halving the already short 72 minutes run time.

0.5/5